How to bust that negative self talk?

Interview with Sandra Schmoldt about the diverse mental challenges that the lockdown has brought for herself and her clients. She gave advice on how we all can recognise the negative thoughts we are experiencing and push past them to enable us to have more freedom in our mindset, gaining mental fitness.

After months at home and many rounds through the park around the corner, we finally did it again: We went to the beach. North Sea, brownish spray, white sand and a wide sky with flying clouds to the horizon. And a strong wind, typical of this area. As so often, we started our walk on the beach against the wind to be pushed by the tailwind on the way back (yes, we have to manage our energy these days...). From a distance we could already see that the sky was full of kites that danced and rattled in the wind. From the ground or from the water, they were steered by neoprene-masked figures with spray-wet hair – sometimes masterfully, sometimes not so much. Many made involuntary and somewhat awkward jumps in the air; like puppets on long threads that the wind made bounce across the beach. Others sank their kite vertically into the water and drifted in the waves while trying to launch again. Some worked in small groups on the ground and held the one in front from behind while struggling to gain control of the kite with gruff movements. I had to smile at the thought that I had dangled in such a harness a few years ago and was grateful for my teammates, who put in all their bodyweight into helping me to not loose grip. Heavy teamwork, literally speaking. I noticed one kite surfer because we passed him so close that our eyes met: he was standing in the shallow water in his steering gear, the red kite standing calmly high in the air. We smiled at each other. He looked relaxed as if he was right in his equilibrium. Was he listening to the wind or maybe listening to himself? On our way back, we saw the red kite chasing across the water at great speed and the guy skillfully leaping through the air. A master in dealing with the elements, obviously, who moved effortlessly and in harmony with wind and water. All dimensions seemed to be in balance here... We cannot control the direction of the waves and the wind. But we can learn how to be a good surfer... As we have started to pick up our lives after Corona, I invite you to take a moment and ponder what mastery means for you: What competences have emerged for you that will be useful in the future? What gives you stability so you can weather sudden headwinds on your path? How do you experience situations in which backing is necessary - for yourself, for others? What becomes possible for you if you are in your inner equilibrium? Taking a kite surfer's view is just one option to change perspective when we feel stuck or overwhelmed. You will be surprised what your inner resources can do for you if you start to unleash and train your mental power, one conversation at a time. >>> To discover more, book a free consultation with me! https://equilidocoaching.as.me/freeconsultation If this article has been useful to you, I invite you to sign up to my Equilido News (every once in a while)!

This feels like lockdown day No. 1000 to me and I realise I've seen a considerable number of dips in my MOTIVATION to keep going... 😷 Which reminds me of a call with a previous client a couple of days ago. I was actually surprised to reach her right away as she had been promoted recently. Just a few months after she had started her new job. And that new job has been her big vision of a future she barely dared to dream of when she came to work with me as a coach, more than a year ago. “It’s been absolutely crrrrazy, Sandrra”, she said with her lovely accent. “Here I am, in the job I LOVE, leading a team that is spread all over the world. The thing is: I don’t quite know yet how to lead a team REMOTELY and make sure they stay MOTIVATED in these crrrazy times…” For a split second, I had to think of my own twisted learning curve and the decades of costly corporate training that had been invested in my growth as a leader. So, this could have been the perfect cue for me to hand out some good piece of advice. Instead, I paused and chose a different pathway, one that had been way more effective ever since I pivoted my career. Instead of asking “have you tried to…? (INSERT ANY WELL-MEANT TIP ON ANY GREAT IMPROVEMENT), I asked: “When you and I were working together, what have you noticed about HOW we did it?” She responded: “Well, you never talked about yourself. You were just curious about me.” “And what else?” “You listened to me and didn’t judge what I was saying.” “And…?” “You were always asking open questions, so I really had to come up with my own answers.” “…” (SILENCE, admittedly with a big smile on my face…) “And you always kept me focused on solutions and opportunities, not the problems.” “…And with what effect?” “Well, I felt empowered and super motivated by the space you had created for me to grow.” And there she was. Regardless if your team is big or small, spread all over the place or operating in isolation just across the street - or maybe even in the same HOUSEHOLD? Just pick the coaching skill you want to apply more with your people and see the effect it has on their motivation. From the skills mentioned, what is your favourite? What else has worked well for you? Just leave a comment! Need help? >>> Get on a free call with me to tell me more about it: https://equilidocoaching.as.me/introduction If this article has been useful to you, I invite you to sign up to my news and impulses (every once in a while)!

Spending Easter at home doesn't mean we have to lock down our mind. So why not send it travelling to our future self...?

Throughout my corporate career, I’ve spent most of my time in the future. That’s what can happen when you are in charge of people, projects, and numbers that you better make sure will stand for growth. As I put my attention on meeting deadlines and reaching milestones that formed part of yet another required success, I usually pushed myself through my days at a relentless pace. But behind the scenes, the past also played a role, certainly when it came to failures and issues that were to be avoided. What a challenge to forgive myself the mistakes I had made! At times, I found my mind spinning with regrets and self-reproaches, resulting in worries and fears about the future. I could feel my confidence shrink in those moments, and yet I had to get my act together and play strong. Rarely did I allow myself to pause, interrupting the ever-present stream of activity of my mind, jumping back and forth in a constant inner struggle. Well, that has changed. I have landed in the here and now. In my new life, the now provides a solid foundation to work with. So I can create positive change from within, one step at a time. In every present moment you have the freedom to pay attention to what is helpful to you, and act upon it in a loving way, no matter how you may view the past. At any given moment, you have the choice to dump the enemy inside and deliberately focus on nourishing and constructive thoughts that help you to grow and truly thrive. In the first place however, you will have to determine " if you are worth it ". For many women I have talked to in my life as a coach, this seems to be the hardest part, regardless of how successful they appear. This is why I have a little gift your future self may thank you for... I invite you to ponder about a couple of questions: Thinking of your life, what do you notice about your own role in determining your path? As you move through your day, which perspective on time is pre-dominant in your mind - the past, the future or the present? And which emotions? What are some experiences that made you feel that you deserve to be appreciated and loved by yourself, regardless of the circumstances? With what effect? What are some competencies of yours that have supported you on your path, like an inner team of friends? What are some ways to help you pause and savour the present moment? I'd love to hear from you! If you want to explore more, schedule your free THRIVING AT LAST consultation with me. You are also invited to sign up for EQUILIDO news and impulses (every once in a while, no spam!)